To List is Human

We love to make lists. I think it is just human nature to collect, define, assess, impose order, just put our ducks in  row. My 15 year old son's room is evidence against this of course, but still. The greatest this, strangest that, the non-quantified, the valued, the good, the bad and the ugly - we just can't resist. And I am all for it. They make for great arguments, provide great fodder for indignation ("Karch Kiraly is not on ESPN's greatest athlete list!?" See list) and are nothing if not thought provoking. So let's do lists. By all means, keep 'em coming. But let's have a list about making lists, a top ten list for lists.

1. To rank or not to rank? Is this about just making the list or where something falls on it. Looking for more argument or outrage? Make it ranked. "Jordan is number one? He couldn't hit a curve ball!" But unranked lets you get past the smaller arguments about one over another and just gets the list made. The phrase "in no particular order" is very liberating.

2. Establish criteria - especially if it's ranked. The fun part of criteria is that they lead to their own debates. Are you talking about sheer athleticism, accomplishments, impact on sport or all the above. And if it's all, how do you rank them. See where this is going?

3. Have a number. It's no fun to pick "some of the best athletes". Force the issue. Are you going to leave Jesse Owens or Wayne Gretzky out of the top five? (Gretzky over Owens?! Are you serious?!)

4. Be creative. Anybody can ask for the 100 greatest athletes, but I'd rather try to figure the "five greatest athletes in the four majors who never won their sport's MVP". Anyone?

5. Know your audience. No faster way for your list to be added to list of worst lists than to have no one be able to populate the list. Quick, give me the top five left-handed albino dentists living in Canada.

6. Small and specific is more fun than huge and unwieldy. High Fidelity mastered the art of the short list. If you haven't seen this wonderful Stephen Frears film with John Cusack and Jack Black (being so Jack Black), you must. "Top five musical crimes perpetrated by Stevie Wonder in the 80s and 90s" is genius. High Fidelity's lists.

7. Sub categories and rules are fun. In another nod to High Fidelity, while asking for top five songs about death, they make a ruling that "You Can't Always Get What You Want" is excluded because of its involvement in The Big Chill. And such sub-categories can lead to their own lists. "Top five great songs ruined by being used in a bad movie" - go.

8. Snobbery is allowed. Hell, it's even encouraged. Making lists presupposes knowledge and opinion so go ahead and indulge yourself. Like this; "I reject Rolling Stones' 100 Greatest Guitarists List in it's entirety because Steve Morse isn't on it." That was fun.

9. Personal lists can be very illuminating. I love playing Top 5 with my teams in vans because you get random back story with the lists. We once did Top 5 meals ever eaten and ended up hearing all these great personal stories that would probably have never come up otherwise.

10. Thinking of topics for lists is as much fun as the lists themselves.

So go make a list.